


let me adore you like it's the only thing i'll ever do

by immortalcockroach (juggyjones)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 4x13, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Praimfaya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23744656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juggyjones/pseuds/immortalcockroach
Summary: He lays his eyes on the head full of blonde hair and he pulls her inside, with them, and doesn’t let go until they are gasping for air, on the Ring, and even long after that, all he can do is just hold her.Bellamy does believe in miracles.— in which clarke makes it to the rocket in time.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 14
Kudos: 167





	let me adore you like it's the only thing i'll ever do

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this as a request and it's not very long or anything but my heart absolutely adores it so here you go
> 
> title from _adore you_ by harry styles. ~~(see what i did there?)~~

Does Bellamy believe in miracles? He doesn’t know.

(He is begging for one, now.)

‘She’s gonna make it,’ he whispers. If anyone hears, it doesn’t matter. There’s not much time left.

He closes his eyes. His heart flutters. Clammy hands are sliding down the rocket door. Behind him, his friends are starting to get nervous. Raven is counting down. So is Bellamy.

They are not counting down to the same thing.

(He begs, more.)

They are almost out of time. Blood is in his cheeks, his nose, his hands, his whole body is overheating. His eyes sting.

He can’t cry. He can’t.

‘Bellamy,’ Murphy says.

‘She’ll make it.’

They fall quiet. Bellamy’s erratic breathing and an even more erratic heartbeat are the only sounds in the confined space; they are deafening.

There is no sight of her.

Raven is saying they need to leave.

If he blinks, and misses her, he’ll never forgive himself for it.

Someone says they can’t wait anymore.

(In his head, Bellamy is on his knees, worshipping every god he could think of.

_Please_ , he cries. _Bring her back to me._ )

‘It’s time,’ Raven says, a hand on his shoulder. Her voice is hardly a voice.

Bellamy shatters; a little, at first, and then all at once.

He doesn’t look away. Despair turns into anger and the lab remains lit, empty, lifeless. He curses the gods now, and the world for tearing their future from them.

( _Does she not deserve to live, you bastards?_ )

He could stay. They would be able to survive here for a bit, and maybe he could become a Nightblood, too. Can he live without her again? Raven keeps calling his name, pulling him away, telling him they’re seconds away from the blast, but he’s firm as Atlas – perhaps this is his weight.

(Can he bear to lose her again?)

‘She’s coming back,’ he says, but the words are hollow.

He wonders when he stopped believing. _Just one more moment_ , he tells himself, _and one more._

‘Bellamy,’ Monty says, softly.

‘I can’t.’ _Not again._

( _Does she not deserve to live more than any of us who will?_ )

They are starting to feel it. The Earth is being massacred, butchered, blasted into nothing, and they need to live. Bellamy asks the gods for one more moment.

One more miracle.

He lays his eyes on the head full of blonde hair and he pulls her inside, with them, and doesn’t let go until they are gasping for air, on the Ring, and even long after that, all he can do is just _hold her._

Bellamy does believe in miracles.

* * *

Clarke lets Bellamy hold her, even when it’s night and their nightmares are woven, and so are their bodies. It becomes a slow song, soft touches, gentle words until they begin to feel safe. Until their life begins to feel real.

She holds him through his demons, he holds her through hers. She runs fingers through his hair when they can’t reach his little sister, and he wipes her tears when the things she has done haunt her. They heal, and they grow, together.

They forgive each other, and help each other forgive themselves.

They are not shattered anymore. They pick up the shards and piece them back together, like puzzles, glued with adoration and the promises of a _something more_. 

It isn’t love. Love is what Clarke feels for her mother, for Wells, for Raven and Monty and Harper and even Murphy, not Bellamy.

It isn’t breathing until she lays eyes on him, after a nightmare, and sees him sound asleep, one of his arms draped over her torso. It isn’t safe until his sobs quiet down, it isn’t happiness until he is smiling with her, and each day, his smile gets a little wider.

It isn’t love. Love is too trivial, too ordinary.

Clarke lets Bellamy hold her, and she helps him carry the world on his shoulders. They are two souls who have known each other since the creation of the universe; they are two souls who have known each other even before they met.

Clarke lets Bellamy hold her, and she places her lips against his on a lazy day, in their bed, and the world on their shoulders feels a little lighter. He cradles her touch as if it were sacred, and she worships his naked skin on her own.

Clarke and Bellamy do not fall in love; they exist for one another.

Nothing has felt more right than the moment when they lay their souls and bodies bare, and love every inch of them.

‘I love you,’ she whispers, and it’s a firefly on a moonless night.

( _Perhaps love is simple enough_ , she decides. _The most beautiful things are the simplest._ )

* * *

They love, and love, and love, and never burn out. Years have gone by, with Clarke by his side, and Bellamy finds solace in being able to love her when he thought he would lose her.

( _Not a day passes by that he doesn’t thank the universe for his miracle._ )

They find solace in each other, as they have always been meant to. Peace is a new word in their dictionary, and it’s beautiful, and it’s everything Bellamy has dreamt of.

Clarke loves him in spite of everything he has done, and because of everything he has done. They love until their sins are burnt out, regrets a thing of the past, and they step on the Earth hand in hand, smiles on their faces, and a whole world ready to be re-explored.

( _Perhaps love and miracles, like hearts and heads, come in pairs._ )

**Author's Note:**

> i've got two more looooong fics coming up, one should be done sometime by the end of april if not sooner, and the other one by the end of may?? hopefully
> 
> if you want to request a fic, just send me an ask on tumblr ([bellarkesgodson](https://bellarkesgodson.tumblr.com/)).


End file.
